Feeling humiliated? Hopeless? Wretched? WHY???
Because she has not accepted my proposal!!! What can I do now! I am
devastated
The mere fear of getting rejected often puts a
large chunk of men in shell and the very thought of getting closer to a lady
and asking her for going out on a date paralyses them. These sorts of
inhibitions sometimes become so ridiculous that you end up regretting for the
rest of your life. But you have to overcome your crippling fear, otherwise how
can you enjoy the thrill of meeting and dating beautiful women?
It will lower my self-esteem this is one of the
prime reasons why men are so much afraid of rejection. A woman saying no to
you in the past does not indicate that you are the most disgusting creature in
the world. Maybe she was engaged or married, perhaps she was not exactly in a
mood to date or flirt, possibly she was too conservative to say yes to a man
instantly - the causes are as varied as they can be.
Remember, the taste and preferences vary from women
to women. It is not necessary that you will be equally appealing to each and
every woman. Maybe you are not the dream man of a plain Jane, but in the eyes
of another gorgeous woman, you can turn out to be the guy with irresistible
charm. So, the best solution is to approach several women and try your luck.
Who knows who are going to click with whom and how! And the more you open up
and meet people, the more you rise above your apprehensions.
You spot a lady at a park or bar and request her
to go out for a date right away and then she refuses your proposal this is
not true rejection. So, you are not supposed to lose heart over this. But, if
someone rejects you after spending substantial amount of time, then it can be
labeled as true rejection. These refusals can sometimes become really painful,
as she has snubbed you after knowing you well enough. But, you have to learn to
get over of these situations too. Some men have said that if one becomes able
to cope with the ultimate rejection, then the fear of refusal goes away
completely from their minds. For them, approaching a new woman everyday becomes
cakewalk.
If you dont want to get rebuffed by a woman, you
must know how to kick-start a conservation with a perfect stranger. Sexually
suggestive pickup lines make most women pissed off. Exuding honesty and
genuineness through conversations is essential. Otherwise, you may find
yourself lamenting.
If overcoming the fear of rejections becomes too
difficult for you, engage yourself into some other activities like concentrate
more on your career, start reading a best seller or listen to some good music
for a whole day.
Opting for a dancing or acting class is not a bad
idea.
Read on books that act as good motivational force.
Tell yourself again and again that you possess all
the qualities that make a woman turned on. Always try to think positives about
yourself, because no one is going to fall in love with you if you lack faith in
yourself.
Though it may sound a bit bitter, the truth is that
you wont succeed in the game everyday. Failures are part and parcel of our
lives. Instead of being bogged down by disappointments, you have to learn to
accept the reality. Failures are the stepping-stones to success. You must take
them in your stride and get a cue on how to handle analogous circumstances in
future.
You should be comfortable in dealing with
uncertainties of life. That can bring you the true excitement in the adventure
of dating and help you to come in terms with the negative responses from a
girl.
Always keep yourself enlivened by uttering certain
trigger phrases like Its now or never and let me face it before
approaching a woman. Try to remember how you have faced the challenges boldly
in the past.
Take a few deep breathes before initiating the
action. Take each action as a trial and tell yourself, If I pass, its great
and even if I dont, theres nothing to worry about, because I am not giving up
easily and going for more such tests in future.
Keeping other options open is certainly a good
idea. Dont get too much emotionally involved with any particular incident.
Branch out your interests and possibilities as far as possible. Make your
social calendar busy by scheduling meetings at regular intervals, so that
little time remains left for feeling bad and the chance of getting your gal is
kept wide-open.
After a few unsuccessful attempts, take a break and
go out for a vacation. Thus, when you come back, you can approach more girls
with a refreshed spirit.
Never blame your appearance or your personality
after hearing a NO and try to turn each NO to a NEXT. Learn the necessity
of moving on in life. Carry on refining your way of approaching various women,
until you strike the right chord.
Giving up completely is a big no-no, instead be
determined to make love bloom in your life. Bouncing back after each failure is
the way of life.
Never be too self-conscious. Always put forward
your actual self. Wear a dont care attitude.
You are always free to get in touch with a good
counselor.
Take baby steps in developing future relationships.
Learn to read the body languages of the person.
That will give you an idea whether she is going to dump you in near future.
Psychotherapists often advise people to put
themselves intentionally into certain situations where they are bound to get
rejected. This process has its positive aftereffects.
Be mentally strong, try to build up your level of
confidence and always keep the competitive spirit alive. Being rejected once
does not mean the end of the world.
So, what have you learnt? Are you seeing the world
with a changed perspective or still having butterflies in your stomach? Dont
be afraid, just spring into the action
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